Entry Level BDSM

Entry Level BDSM

It seems only natural to begin this article with a quick explanation of what BDSM means. It is generally accepted that Bondage, Dominance, Sadism & Masochism complete the acronym. Some sources replace Dominance with Discipline, but the end result is much the same. I want to introduce you to the ideas and activities popular in this fetish, and highlight that Entry Level BDSM is not as scary as you may have imagined.

Bondage

People often dip their toe into the world of BDSM without even realizing, with a little bondage play. Bondage simply means restraining your partner by some physical means. If you’ve ever played around with handcuffs during sex, or secured your lover’s wrists to the bedpost with a tie or stockings you’ve already indulged in some light BDSM.

There are plenty of more advanced ways to restrain. Along with cuffs, rope and bondage ties, there are also elaborate harnesses. Bed restraints come in a variety of different styles, all designed to affix to your mattress with securing points at each end for ankle cuffs, wrist cuffs and more. Some have additional fastening points for creating more elaborate positions.

Bondage is quite a wide term in BDSM and applies to more than just movement restraints. Mouth gags, blindfolds and hoods are all considered exciting tools of the trade. Bondage is seen as a great entry point for those wanting to try a little kink. Some couples go deeper, into other aspects BDSM, whilst others don’t venture further than a sexy tie-me-up session every once in a while.

Dominance

Whether the submissive (Sub) partner is restrained or not, the dominant (Dom) will take ownership of them and their pain/pleasure experience. There are plenty of ways to keep a sub in good order. Verbal orders and instructions that must be obeyed are a great way to take control. Floggers, whips and paddles all create physical reactions upon contact with sub’s body. From a tantalizing tingle to sharp sting, the dom can keep them guessing what is to come next.

Clamps and pinching devices are common in BDSM play. Most nipple clamps are adjustable, so can be used with a light pinch or a hard squeeze to achieve just the right amount of punishment. Clamps are often used on the clitoris too. Each pull on the chain creating complex pain/pleasure signals for the sub.

As well as using specific BDSM tools, don’t rule out using conventional sex toys. A perfect way to reward a sub is to allow them to orgasm, but under your control. Clitoral, vaginal or anal toys can all be used in this way. A little tease and denial play is a wonderful skill to master. Bringing your sub to the brink over and over, but not letting them climax is a much under-rated form of torture!

Trust is Key in Entry Level BDSM

Whatever level of BDSM you want to experiment with, trust is key. Role-play and fantasy can be exhilarating, but must be carried out in a bond of trust with your partner. Surrendering to the will of your lover should be thrilling, not scary. Be sure to set up a safeword between you both. As soon as somebody says the safeword, playtime is over.

Check out our Kink & Fetish Series of articles; B will feature Bondage.