Dr Joan – How To Spice Up Your Sex Life

Spicing Up Your Sex Life

I find an increasing amount of people are asking me for advice on how to add a little spice to a sex life. Whether you are in a long term relationship or with a new partner and looking to add thrills to your sexual encounters, there are many solutions. In this article I have detailed some of my favourite suggestions, listing them below. I begin with some sexual position ideas and move onto toys and venues…

Are you amongst the millions of people looking to leave the world of vanilla sex behind and venture forth into a thrilling and new sex life? If so, then read on. Experiment and enjoy!

Sexual Positions

There are literally hundreds of sexual positions available to you in your relationship. I will be discussing many of them in my Sex Positions Series, starting with #1 Doggy Style. Some of these you will have tried before, but remember changing things up in bed is vitally important to keep the passion alive. If you stick to the same 1 or 2 positions with your partner your sex life will get dull, however much you love each other.

Why not try the reverse cowgirl? The girl sits on top of the man, facing his feet. In this position the girl gets to experience deep penetration and enjoy the feeling of being in charge. The man gets to see and play with her bum and fondle her breasts.

Also standing sex is a much underused position. This involves the man standing, supporting the girls weight with her legs wrapped around his waist during intercourse. To make this position easier you could incorporate the use of  a sex swing. A sex swing is a harness that either hangs from a ceiling joist or over a door.

They suspend the girl at the perfect height for standing sex, Men in particular find the standing method very pleasurable because a male orgasm feels more intense when he is on his toes.

Locations

Think outside the box and have sex outside the bedroom.
To start with, if you are feeling a little self conscious, stay inside the house. You can enjoy sex in the shower, up against the fridge or even on the sofa. When you are feeling a little more adventurous, why not venture outside the house and try sex on the back seat of your car, on the deck or even up against your garden fence.

Outdoor sex can be invigorating, not only because of the change of environment, but the anticipation of being caught adds an element of excitement. Why not try sex in the woods, or pop in a remote controlled vibrating bullet and let your partner secretly thrill you anywhere, from a train to a restaurant.
If it is comfort that you crave, then leave behind all of your domestic worries and book a sexy night in a hotel so you can concentrate on each other.

Technology

In this digital age, try taking advantage of the many new opportunities available to you to connect with your partner.
Consider using your smartphone to surprise your lover. Take a naughty picture and send it to them, and they are sure to come home in the mood! Or even use it to shoot a sex video together, not only can you enjoy performing for the camera, but you can enjoy watching it back afterwards!

Sexting isn’t just for teenagers, why not text some dirty thoughts to your partner to brighten their busy work day? Then you can both look forward to doing the things you have text about when you are together. Phone sex isn’t just for long distance lovers, why not call your partner and have a sexy chat?

If the above isn’t your cup of tea then why not try streaming some porn together? There is plenty of couple friendly pornography available online which you can enjoy together. Not only will it give you ideas for new things to try in your sex life, watching other people have sex can obviously be a real turn on too, and make for great sex.

Make the effort

This might sound like obvious advice, making an effort for your partner, but as we all know, when you have been together a long time you can sometimes let the little important things slide.
Girls, think back to when you were first dating. Would you have turned up to a sexy rendezvous with your lover, with hairy legs? How about chipped nail polish and not a hint of perfume? And guys, would you have gone on a date expecting to get lucky without first brushing your teeth, trimming your man bush, and being fresh out of the shower?

These little things are important. However much your partner loves you, they still want and need to be visually stimulated. When you are planning an extra sexy night together, why not invest in some sexy lingerie?  You know your partner will enjoy peeling off your body.

Maybe try a little dressing up as a hot doctor or sexy nurse? whatever your fantasies may be, try and fulfil them. And for nights where you might of had to postpone sex until the kids are in bed, make sure to nip into the shower and freshen up. Spray on some sexy scent and moisturize your skin. You will feel sexy and confident, and your partner will enjoy the effort you have made. They will almost certainly make more of an effort when they are having sex with their hot, sexy partner!

Sex Toys

In the wonderful world of adult stores, there is something for everyone. When thinking of spicing up your sex life you really can’t go wrong with a good sex toy.
If this is completely new to you, maybe start with something simple that you can enjoy together, like a vibrating cockring. These rings are a great couples sex toy, providing enjoyment for you both

The man wears this at the base of his penis. The ring will give him a stronger and longer lasting erection and the vibrating part of the cockring which is positioned to hit the clitoris whilst having sex will certainly give his girl a thrill.

You could try a blindfold. When one of your senses is deprived the others are immediately heightened, thus meaning every touch and every kiss takes on a new dimension. (This is commonly known as sensory deprivation). Plus, blocking the sight of one partner will help you both free your inhibitions and really go wild!

Restraints are another fun thing to bring into the bedroom. There are some very comfortable options available as well as more traditional metal cuffs. Rated R are a great brand for cuffs and other BDSM essentials. You can read a little more about them and their products elsewhere on this site. However, I’m not just talking about handcuffs,  you can try Japanese silk rope or even bondage tape to tie your lover up and have them at your mercy!

Not being able to touch your lover like you usually do will add anticipation and yearning to your bedroom session. Sometimes this can be lacking in long term relationships. Surprise your partner with a naughty gift and both of you shall reap the rewards.

In conclusion

In summary, just remember that your relationship with your partner, both emotionally and sexually, is an important part of your life. It is only ever going to be as good as you make it. Make special efforts to keep the magic alive, ensuring a happy future together.

Dr Joan.

Oh, and for some inspiration on home massage, take a look at Gia Joy’s latest article – Giving the Perfect Massage.